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Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

This summer the Angels are back

Directed by:

McG

Rating: 3/10

Running Time: 105 minutes

UK Certificate: 12a

Country: United States

Under normal circumstances, you'd hope the tit-bits picked out to feature in a movie's trailer would be explained in full when it comes to watching the film itself. What's different in the case of 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle' is that the whole thing's like watching an extremely long trailer: lots of fighting, lots of dancing, and lots of explosions, but absolutely nothing to hold any of it together. When's the film going to start?

Like last time, the plot – if you can even spot it (believe me, it's tough) – is little more than a side-issue to endless costume changes, low-grade innuendos and countless cameo appearances from Hollywood big-hitters who really should know better.

It feels pointless using a review to dwell on outlining the story when the film-makers themselves so clearly couldn't be bothered making one up, but here's a brief summary. Some rings have been half-inched, and with them the secret details of the US witness protection proggy. So, under the instruction of the faceless Charlie (voiced again by John Forsythe), the three Angels – Alex (Lucy Liu), Natalie (Cameron Diaz) and Dylan (Drew Barrymore) – are sent out to recapture the goods. Personally, I can't help but wonder why, if Charlie's that bothered about it, he doesn't do it himself. Then again, that's probably why I'm not an Angel. That, and the fact that I don't look good in a bikini.

Bill Murray (Bosley in the last movie) is no longer involved, having wisely jumped ship to be replaced by the inferior Bernie Mac. Demi Moore (remember her?), meanwhile, comes on board as an unconvincing baddie, John Cleese is Alex's inexplicably white dad, Matt LeBlanc basically plays his Joey role from 'Friends, and Crispin Glover wanders around in the background sniffing clumps of hair and screaming.

I've got absolutely nothing against setting out with the sole intention to entertain, but this movie doesn't even do that. There are moments you suspect are meant to be funny, but just aren't. Just like last time, the only laughs to be heard are those of the cast. I hope to God they don't make a third one but, if they do, could they at least have the courtesy to let the audience join in?

It's Got: Cameos by the score – Bruce Willis, Carrie Fisher, Eve and Pink to name but a few.

It Needs: To make sense.

Alternatives:

Charlies Angels

Summary

One big self-referential mess, created entirely for visual effect at the total expense of plot, entertainment value and wit.

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