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Tooth (2004)

Only one fairy has the courage to bring the magic back

Rating: 3/10

Running Time: 91 minutes

UK Certificate: U

Where has the magic gone? That’s just one of the questions posed by this disappointing kiddies’ fantasy flick, notable others being “why are so many of the British cast being forced to adopt dodgy accents and pretend they’re in America?” and “why does a film about tooth fairies suddenly seem to turn into a film about Christmas?” ‘Tooth’ is just the latest in a long line of lazy children’s movies that just don’t make a Helluva lot of sense.

The cast and concept initially gave me high hopes for this one but, unfortunately, it’s a complete mess. It’s a confusing and inexorably dull story about a rebellious young tooth fairy (Yasmin Paige), the cringe-worthy baddie who’s trying to expose all of fairykind to the tabloid press (Harry Enfield), and the poverty-stricken family who get caught in the middle (Sally Phillips and Tim Dutton are Mum and Dad, and Rory Copus and Maisie Preston are the kiddy-winks).

It’s a decent idea on paper – and bringing in Vinnie Jones as a fairy-turned-dentist is a nice touch – but writer-director Edourd Nammour serves up possibly the blandest screenplay of the year.

For all of its recognisable faces (Stephen Fry, Richard E. Grant and Jerry Hall also pop up, whilst Jim Broadbent is the voice of the out-of-place Easter Bunny), none of them are given any material of any wit or imagination to work with, and in the end few of them come out of it with any credit. A livelier and more anarchic actor like Rik Mayall could perhaps have made a success of the villain role, but the perma-smirking Enfield is a major disappointment. In fact, the only decent performance probably comes from 12-year-old Paige who, as the feisty Tooth, shows she could be one to look out for in the future.

It's Got: A hugely unimaginative setting for the fairies’ underground lair, which looks like little more than a swiftly-emptied warehouse (put it to shame by comparing it with the enchanting elf workshop scenes in ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’ or, more recently, Elf).

It Needs: To floss.


Do your kids a favour and take them on a nice trip to the dentist instead.