Aside from a couple of chortle-worthy moments, this lifeless Tyneside dull-fest scores one own-goal too many.
Comedy
Rat Race
One long, drawn-out and not even accidentally funny mess.
Being John Malkovich
Curiouser and curiouser and very, very funny.
Matchstick Men
Just when the confidence trick film seemed to have breathed its last, Ridley Scott has come along and given it new life by expanding its horizons. Not just a pretty scam (although it certainly is that), but also a redemptive drama whose deeply flawed central character is allowed to develop and change. Not a world changer, but far more intelligent and moving than 'Gladiator'.
Bad Boys 2
Big budget nonsense, which commits the fatally smug error of supposing that just about anything will acquire charm and wit merely through Will Smith's involvement. 'Bad Boys 2' is full of misfiring humour, inappropriately sadistic violence, and paddle-pool shallowness – just about its only virtue is that, though it seems to last a lifetime, it is thankfully soon forgotten.
Calendar Girls
A nicely-acted Brit-com, but unfortunately its also unavoidably dull.