xXx
A new breed of secret agent
Rating: 4/10
Running Time: 115 minutes
UK Certificate: 12
On DVD
With a nod in the direction of the extreme sports crowd and a title that sounds suspiciously like porn, this is XXX – James Bond for the yoof market. The trouble is, Bond itself is a knackered, repetitive franchise that should have been put to bed years ago not copied virtually to the letter in a new movie where the only notable change is to replace the suave 007 with a skin-headed man-gorilla.
In fairness to Vin Diesel, he produces one of his better performances here as Xander Cage, the underground snowboarding idol cajoled into helping the U.S government collar a group of Czech radicals. Much like Bond, his armoury comprises an array of top-secret gadgets, guilt-free promiscuity, and a lightning-quick line in tactless one-liners (best of all is when, after taking out a smoker with a heat-seeking missile, our hero quips: I told him that cigarette would kill him one day. Oh God, I laughed uncontrollably for about two hours after hearing that one. Honestly).
Among the more impressive elements of XXX are the nicely put-together action sequences, most notably the avalanche scene. But dont let Samuel L. Jacksons presence as Xanders boss fool you this is a stupid film. At times I wasnt sure if director Rob Cohen was being intentionally tongue-in-cheek, perhaps even wandering into spoof territory, or if I was just watching a genuine stinker. And Jacksons a fine actor, but lets face it hes not exactly choosy about the roles he takes. It often seems as if the guy would dress up as Barney the dinosaur if he was offered a good enough pay packet.
Fortunately, the whole thing is just about hectic enough that fans of run-of-the-mill actioners will get some enjoyment out of it. For everyone else, this offers little you cant get from watching a Bond flick assuming youd even want to, that is.
It's Got: Subtitles when the Czech folks talk amongst themselves, ensuring we dont miss out on gold-dust dialogue like Catch him fast! Kill him slow!
It Needs: Originality.
DVD Extras Directors commentary, three featurettes, visual effects info, deleted scenes, filmographies, trailers, and a Gavin Rossdale music vid. All in all, its a surprisingly decent package. DVD Extras Rating: 8/10
Summary
James Bond with a slap-head shaven, not stirred. Get it? Shaven, not stirred? Eh? Oh, just forget it.