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Author Archives: Gary Panton

Lauras Stern

Not only is your average star far too large to fit inside a family home, but the owner risks being blinded, burned, and sucked into its gravitational pull, never to be found again. But if that sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship to you, then by all means give ‘Laura’s Star’ a whirl.

Control

Despite the dodgy start and bargain bin fate, this watchable and strongly-performed thriller is well worth giving a chance.

Pocahontas

The message is a bit clunky and the story suffers through its lack of willingness to take any risks with the tried-and-tested Disney formula – but it’s not bad.

Carnages

This meaty drama may prove an acquired taste, but it’s far from a load of bull. And don’t worry – I’m stopping the puns right there, before the temptation to say “the steaks are too high” just becomes far too great.

The Clearing

Redford, Mirren and Dafoe want money for old rope by appearing in this lame, predictable nonsense. Don’t give it to them. We all deserve better.

Pooh's Heffalump Movie

Apparently, this is one of Pooh’s favourite once-upon-a-times – and why not?

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

She might be armed, but there’s nothing fabulous about Agent Gracie Hart in this totally uncalled-for follow-up.

She Hate Me

This tough-to-swallow Spike Lee lesbi-tale may well turn Anthony Mackie into a star, but it’s about as comedic as its title is grammatically correct (i.e. not very).

Valiant

This Brit-packed tale of feathery heroics might not have the bods at Pixar losing sleep any time soon – but it’s a Valiant effort.

Mr 3000

Bernie proves there’s more to the Mac in this likable tale of when baseball stats go wrong.