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Author Archives: Gary Panton

Beauty Shop

Not even Queen Latifah’s ever-bubbly presence can prevent this from turning into one seriously bad hair day.

What the #$*! Do We Know!?

Creepy, distasteful cinematic propaganda, fronted and funded by a bunch of cults.

Vacation

Happy holidays indeed – provided you sit and watch the Griswold’s escapades from the comfort of your own home, and don’t try to go with them.

Mary Poppins

If Poppers herself was to describe the film, she’d probably call it “practically perfect in every way.” They don’t get much more timeless than this.

Doing Hard Time

You’ll have a ‘Hard Time’ taking this load of plopsy seriously.

The Wedding Date

An ideal date movie – provided dozing off is your idea of a fun night out.

Seed of Chucky

Hope upon hope that this is the last Chucky movie we’ll ever have to endure. But, if there MUST be a sixth one, let’s pray that it’s called ‘Death of Chucky’ – and a painful death at that.

Die Hard

The best action movie ever? You’ll have a Hard job finding a better one.

Suspect Zero

The sofa-jawed Aaron Eckhart is more zero than hero in this snooze-inducing destitute man’s ‘Se7en’.

The I Inside

It tries to turn you inside-out, but it’s all for nothing.