Taxi N.Y.C.
Hes armed, but shes dangerous.
Rating: 3/10
Running Time: 97 minutes
US Certificate: PG-13 UK Certificate: 12a
In Taxi, Mike Myers look-a-like Jimmy Fallon plays a hopeless detective who, after being warned off a case, carries on investigating it anyway. Hes a lousy driver, and to make sure were aware of this, he automatically goes into reverse every time he starts up a car. Honestly, this thing contains so many worn-out cop comedy clichés that I actually felt a little disappointed to discover his exasperated lieutenant is Jennifer Esposito, and not a fat, screaming, desk-thumping black man.
There really is nothing in this movie that merits much discussion but, on the off-chance that anyones interested, heres the gist. Bungling cop Washburn (Fallon) is on the trail of a gang of leggy lady bank-robbers, led by the unflinchingly bored-looking Vanessa (Gisele Bundchen, who might be nice to look at, but brings very little else to the party). The trouble is, hes had his driving license taken off him, so in order to get around the city he has to catch a cab. And, as youll have already guessed, this is no ordinary cab. Its a souped-up mental-mobile, driven by the mouthy speed-loving Belle (Queen Latifah), and seemingly created with the soul intention of making the machines from The Fast and the Furious look like mid-80s Ladas.
Of course, its not long before Washburn and Belle have formed something of a crime-fighting partnership and, if youve ever seen a single buddy cop flick at any previous point in your life, youll know the rest of it inside-out.
The main problem I had with the film wasnt its predictability I pretty much take that as a given whenever I go to see any police-based action-comedy nowadays. Neither was it the handling of the numerous chase sequences, which are actually dealt with pretty well by Barbershop director Tim Story. No, my major gripe is that its just not funny. Fallon is a Saturday Night Live regular and Latifah has now got plenty of big screen comedy appearances under her belt, but together they make one of the most forced, lacklustre and downright dull double-acts I can ever recall seeing. At one point the pair of them begin guffawing uncontrollably when theyre trapped in a room full of laughing gas. Perhaps some of that stuff should be pumped into cinemas at the same time, as its the only hope this stultifyingly unamusing cop-com has of raising any laughs.
Taxi is an Americanized remake of Luc Bessons 1998 French film of the same name. The original spawned two sequels. Im guessing nay, hoping that this one wont do the same.
It's Got: Mirror, signal and manoeuvre.
It Needs: L-plates.
Summary
Ill take the bus, thanks.