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The Legend of the Tamworth Two (2004)

Rating: 5/10

Running Time: 60 minutes


Back in 1998, a slightly-embarrassing worldwide media storm was kicked up when two little piggies escaped from a West Country slaughterhouse and scarpered, as fast as their trotters could carry them, over the open countryside in a break for freedom. To be honest, it was a bit of a non-story then, and it still is now, but that was of little importance to the throngs of tabloid reporters who became briefly obsessed with the tale. And, apparently, it’s of little importance to the BBC either, as they’ve now made this film out of it.

So it’s a true story then. Or, at least, a true story of sorts. I mean, I’m guessing the real porkers (dubbed Butch and Sundance by the press) couldn’t actually talk. And this might be a pretty wild stab in the dark, but I’m pretty sure Kevin Whately wasn’t there bizarrely dressed a bit like the Devil either. In fact, the only part of Jed Mercurio’s screenplay I’m willing to believe definitely happened is the bit where our curly-tailed fugitives get drugged up on hippy herbs and get told by Brian Blessed to look for their mother on the other side of a giant white horse. After all, there’s not a day goes by where something similar doesn’t happen to me.

Stretching to a modest 60 minutes, it’s all pretty tame stuff which will really only appeal to the youngest of viewers (although there is one very funny Jaws send-up in there, which unfortunately is destined to go right over the ankle-biting heads of the target audience). There’s a reasonable comedy cast, including the likes of Alexei Sayle, John Sessions and Chris Langham, but none of them are given much to do. Emma Pierson is nice to look at as the journo from the local rag who first picks up on the story, and voice-over combo James Dodd and Natasha Day (a replacement for Lucy ‘The Office’ Davis) are decent enough as the oinkers in question, but when all’s said and done there’s just not enough here to capture the imagination.

Brought to life by ‘Anita and Me’ director Metin Huseyin, it’s tailor-made for that Easter holiday TV slot normally occupied by the likes of ‘Wallace & Gromit’. Suffice to say, these pigs aren’t a patch on the plasticine pair.

It's Got: A soundtrack heavy on getaway music – appropriately enough.

It Needs: Brown sauce – lovely on those bacon sarnies.

DVD Extras Audio commentary from director Huseyin and producers Lynn Horsford and Sally Woodward. DVD Extras Rating: 1/10


Hog-standard family flick.