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Seed of Chucky (2004)

Bride of Chucky 2, Childs Play 5, Son of Chucky

Deliver us some evil.

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 87 minutes

US Certificate: R UK Certificate: 18

Way back in 1988, who’d have thought that – after nigh-on two decades – the ‘Child’s Play’ franchise would still be running? After all, there’s surely only so much you can do with a story in which the sole plot device is a doll named Chucky who goes around hacking people into quivering blood-soaked gut-heaps. I mean, it was a decent idea at the time, but since ‘Toy Story’ came along most of us have sort of moved on, haven’t we? Yet here we are, in the year 2005, allowing a FIFTH Chucky flick into our once-cherished cinema houses. Have we no scruples?

This time, the focus shifts to Chucky’s gender-confused offspring Glen (or Glenda, depending on your school of thought). Bizarrely voiced with a Cockney accent by unemployed hobbit Billy Boyd, the incontinent and androgenous Glen(da) escapes the clutches of a bottom-feeding puppeteer (Keith-Lee Castle) and goes searching for dad Chucky (voiced, as ever, by Brad Dourif) and mum Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly). Eventually, the poor little sod tracks the pair of them down to a movie studio, where the real Ms Tilly – here caricaturing herself as a yo-yo-dieting, paparazzi-craving strop-merchant consumed by her own jealous hatred of Julia Roberts – is appearing alongside them in a downmarket horror production (which may well sound a little familiar).

It’s pretty difficult finding anything positive to say about ‘Seed of Chucky’. There’s plenty of blood and gore if that’s your bag (you sick, sick puppies), but here it feels like gore for gore’s sake, neither realistic enough to shock nor funny enough to entertain. In short, it’s caught in a witless no man’s land between horror and parody, perennially striving to satisfy the generic demands of the two but failing miserably on both counts.

Regular ‘Child’s Play’ scribe Don Mancini this time plonks his bum-end into the director’s chair (would it be remiss of me to suggest he had to do it because no helmsman worth their salt would touch the job?), and his touch is clearly that of a man well out of his depth. Not only that, but his screenplay is smug, self-referential bilge. Tilly’s a fun actress to watch, but I felt a little sorry for her here, poking fun at herself with no reward at the end. No leading lady could make this one a success – not even Julia Roberts.

It's Got: Glen(da), when wigged-up, looking frighteningly similar to Helena Bonham-Carter.

It Needs: To be the last we ever see of Chucky. Fingers crossed, eh?

Summary

Hope upon hope that this is the last Chucky movie we’ll ever have to endure. But, if there MUST be a sixth one, let’s pray that it’s called ‘Death of Chucky’ – and a painful death at that.