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Into the Sun (2005)

Yakuza

Only one man can stop the Yakuza.

Directed by:

mink

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 97 minutes

US Certificate: R UK Certificate: 18

On DVD

Country: United States

Having sat through more of Steven Seagal’s thick stream of straight-to-video poopsy than any one reviewer should ever have to, I feel well-enough versed in the man’s work to say there’s only one thing I consistently expect from his output: and that’s to have me soiling myself with laughter by the time the end credits have rolled. Sadly though, ‘Into the Sun’ could well be looked upon as a new low, because it doesn’t even deliver on that front.

Unintentional comedy has become something of a trademark for the basket-chinned one, but this one is just a little – well, I might as well say it – depressing. The man with the chin of three normal-sized men plays Travis Hunter, a Tokyo-based something-or-other who’s called upon to help the CIA with their investigations when a top Government official is assassinated. Grumpily paired-off with rookie upstart Sean (Matthew Davis), the pony-tailed man-blob cruises around the city asking lots of inane questions and getting into a series of increasingly gory battles with Yakuza gangsters (look out for one fight scene in particular, which looks more like a game of extreme patty-cake than a serious martial arts bout).

On a purely superficial basis, the film looks glossier and more polished than your average minimally-released Seagal flick. Mono-named English director “mink” (no, I haven’t made a typo – he actually insists on having it spelled that way, the daft pratt) clearly has a decent budget to play with, and throws in lots of flashy-looking but essentially pointless visual effects. But the atrocious acting, mind-numbing dialogue (Seagal himself actually had a hand in writing this one) and clunky schoolboy errors (characters freely chat to each other IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES) are a dead giveaway: this is, without doubt, a Steven Seagal movie.

It's Got: One of the most awkward sex scenes I’ve ever seen – which perhaps isn’t all that surprising, given that it’s the culmination of a bizarre, out-of-place romance between Seagal and a girl (Kanako Yamaguchi) young enough to be his daughter. You’ll no doubt be relieved to hear though that Seagal refrains from getting his boobs out.

It Needs: To make it a little less obvious that it wants to be ‘Kill Bill’.

DVD Extras None. And, while I’m on the subject, what’s even more annoying about this DVD is that you can’t set the subtitles to only come on for the non-English-speaking characters. You have to either have them on for EVERYONE or no-one at all. Rubbish. Version reviewed: Into The Sun, Amazon UK also available from Amazon.com DVD Extras Rating: 2/10

Alternatives:

Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Kill Bill: Vol. 2, Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2

Summary

Even token unplanned silliness bypasses this lousy Steven Seagal vanity project.

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