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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)

He charges $10, but he’s willing to negotiate.

Rating: 3/10

Running Time: 88 minutes

US Certificate: R UK Certificate: 15


Apparently, there are some people out there who don’t know what the word “gigolo” means. Fortunately I’m not one of them, predominantly because I’m one of the few people who still remembers the early-90s sitcom ‘Just a Gigolo’, starring the mighty Tony Slattery. Come to think of it, I’m probably one of the few people who still remembers Tony Slattery.

Anyway, for the unenlightened, a gigolo is a bloke who ladies pay to spend time with them – or, as this movie frequently puts it, a “man whore”. If you’re a male reading this right now, and you’re thinking to yourself that that sounds like an absolute belter of a job, then you are – of course – absolutely right. More importantly, you’d think it would open up all manner of comic opportunities for a movie such as this one. Sadly though, that Slattery thingmy didn’t take advantage of them all those years ago, and Rob Schneider doesn’t take advantage of them here.

Schneider – who co-wrote this guff with Harris Goldberg – plays Deuce Bigalow, a slightly sleazy fish-tank cleaner who joins the escort industry in the hope of making a quick buck when top man-proz Antoine (Oded Fehr) heads off to Switzerland and leaves him to house-sit. Upon hearing jobs like this exist, Bigalow says “I’m gonna kill my guidance counsellor” – which is a good gag, but it’s all downhill from there as he makes his way through a series of predictably dodgy clients. There’s the fat woman (ha!), the really tall woman (hee!) and the woman who suffers from Tourette’s (stop it, you’re killing me!). Comedy gold it ain’t.

To the film’s credit, there’s a surprisingly nice moral message underpinning the whole thing, but on the whole it makes for lousy viewing. The story doesn’t flow at all well (it feels as if a lot of bits have been edited out, leaving parts of it making very little sense), the supporting performances are weak, and all the Schneider enthusiasm in the world can’t make up for the fact that the guy just isn’t particularly funny. Where’s Tony Slattery when you need him?

It's Got: A fish in a blender.

It Needs: A red light – as in one meaning “stop”, as opposed to one meaning “hookers inside”.

DVD Extras A production featurette – which sounds alright, until you discover that it lasts for all of 150 seconds. Really spoiling us, eh? DVD Extras Rating: 1/10


About as hilarious as you’d expect a life on the game to actually be.