Take the biggest step of all in 3D
Rating: 2/10
Running Time: 107 minutes
US Certificate: PG13 UK Certificate: 12A
‘People dance because dance can change things. One move, can bring people together. One move, can make you believe like there’s something more. One move, can set a whole generation free’ – just one example in a whole cavalcade of total sentimental cheesy bile that will assault your sensibilities over the interminable 107 minutes of Step Up 3D.
Step Up 3D follows the second instalment’s geeky anti-hero Moose (Sevani) who goes to NYU to do an engineering course and instead of giving up that dancing malarkey, he joins the ridiculously named Pirates dance crew. The Pirates need Moose to help them defeat the equally ridiculously named Samurai dance crew in a massive dance competition so they can pocket winnings to save their dance studio.
The acting is truly abysmal. I know people don’t go and see these movies for the thespian qualities but each cornball line that’s delivered with such incapability by someone that is more RADA school of acting than streetwise scallywag, acts as a blow to the heart. The plot is recycled and clichéd and the characters are just not involving enough to keep the attention. Hmm, good points? Well, the 3D isn’t bad. The movie kind of seems made for this pointless gimmick but it does take a bit of a weird twist when the dancer’s arms start elongating and doing all kinds of strange things.
Anyway, we see street dance repeatedly in Britain and America’s Got Talent and there’s a whole slew of dance movies out there now, but who actually does it? I’ve never seen two crews dancing off in front of the Debenhams in Bexley Heath or a man whos been dissed in the street laying down a dance smackdown in return. Maybe, I’m missing the point. Maybe a boy from the north of England bought up on Queen records just isn’t going to get it but I can’t see any redeeming features in Step Up 3D. I can say though that I didn’t find the recent movie Street Dance all that bad.
It's Got: Disturbing 3D, corny sentimental nonesense, woeful acting
It Needs: Never to have been made.
Summary
Thank you, Simon Cowell, now these street dancers are everywhere. Awfully scripted, acted and packaged, stay away from this mess at all costs.