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Abduction (2011)

What if your entire life was a lie?

Rating: 3/10

Running Time: 106 minutes

US Certificate: PG-13

The news of Taylor Lautner of Twishite fame getting his first major lead role was enough to make me wet my little panties and I am happy to say that Abduction did not let me down… by just how bad it is. Further good news is that we do get a few substantial topless shots to please the laydees but in doing so proved that he’s not moved on from mere teen heart-throb status, even is he is actually trying (take note, Potter kids).

When working on a school project Nathan (Lautner) comes across a picture of himself on a missing persons website. When investigating further into this inconvenience, Nathan’s parents are killed and he has to go on the run with the lovely Karen (Collins). Turns out that they were not his real parents anyway and he’s determined to find out what the chuff is going on with the help and hindrance of Dr Bennett (Weaver) and CIA Agent Burton (Molina).

True to it’s PG-13 rating, we don’t really see Nathan and Karen do battle with their foes too much but rather evade them in a number of increasingly frustrating ways. The near total lack of decent action (the trailer shows us the lion’s share) gives more time over for teenage angst and dull dialogue. Singleton is not exactly a Director who’s renowned for his subtle film-making but for once he delivers on underwhelming the audience. Probably missed his buddy Samuel L. Jackson.

Lautner has a surprisingly decent cast to back him up but there’s nothing they can do but cash their paychecks and try their best at damage limitation. Overall, Lautner proves beyond doubt that he is just a talking pair of nipples.


It's Got: Not enough action, too much teenage angst and boring dialogue

It Needs: For someone to explain the Lautner obsession to me. I don't get it - he has a squint, a mouth that doesn't close and a silly haircut.


Twilight heart-throb Taylor Lautner’s breakout role is poorly acted and directed and it’s likely to be showing on the Disney channel pretty soon.