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The Lizzie Mcguire Movie (2003)

The only risk in taking an adventure is not taking it at all

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 94 minutes

UK Certificate: U

Suddenly, I have a horrible feeling I completely misjudged ‘What A Girl Wants’. I gave that movie 2 out of 10, thinking it impossible for the similarly-themed ‘Lizzie McGuire Movie’ to be even worse. I was wrong, which presents me with a conundrum – score it a 2 and pretend it’s on a level pegging with ‘WAGW’, or drop it down to 1, a score normally reserved exclusively for Nicole Kidman films. I think I’ll do the first one.

In case you don’t know, Lizzie McGuire (played by Hilary Duff) is already a well-known name on the tweeny-bopper circuit thanks to a strangely popular Disney Channel TV series. Having stumbled her way through her junior high graduation ceremony, Lizzie sets off for two weeks in Italia with best chum Gordo (Adam Lamberg) and the rest of her class.

While sight-seeing in Rome, she bumps into 17-year-old Paulo (Yani Gellman), who’s one half of an insipid Italian pop duo and also a bit of a smoothy. He claims she’s the spitting image of singing partner Isabella – and, given that she’s also played by Duff, you can see his point.

Paolo claims Isabella can’t sing a note – God knows what Simon Cowell would say. Anyway, you can see where it’s going – that’s right, he wants the cripplingly-shallow Lizzie to take her place in the limelight. So, before you can say “why on Earth am I even watching this pile of mince”, he’s convinced her to join him in a Milli Vanilli-style awards ceremony scam.

Regular – and wholly unnecessary – interruptions are provided in the form of Lizzie’s crudely-drawn animated alter-ego. How are we supposed to concentrate on paying attention to the rank-awful script, flaw-packed plotline and crudely-disguised advertisement for Duff’s looming pop career when this irritating caricature keeps popping up and making witless and instantly forgettable remarks?

It's Got: Atomic Kitten droning over the opening credits – not a good start, particularly if you’ve got ears.

It Needs: Don’t tempt me.


and that’s only because Kidman’s not in it.