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Sex Lives of the Potato Men (2004)

About as funny as being stabbed repeatedly in the face with a bread knife.

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 84 minutes

UK Certificate: 18

Despite boasting a cast list reading like a veritable dream team of UK comedy, ‘Sex Lives Of The Potato Men’ is about as funny as being stabbed repeatedly in the face with a bread knife.

Prior to wasting nigh on an hour-and-a-half of my life on viewing this tripe, I’d thought it virtually impossible that an ensemble comprising the likes of Johnny Vegas, Mark ‘The League Of Gentleman’ Gatiss, and ‘The Office’ pair Mackenzie Crook and Lucy Davis could fail to throw up at least a couple of hearty laughs. I haven’t been so wrong since I suggested Rik Waller could triumph on ‘Celebrity Fit Club’.

Charting the seedy exploits of four bonk-obsessed potato merchants, writer and director Andy Humphries bombards the screen with a deluge of smut, muck and all-round nastiness. It’s fair to say I’d probably have been pretty disgusted by the whole thing, were it not for the fact that I was too busy finding both the script and the performances cripplingly unfunny.

Humphries doesn’t even do us the courtesy of bothering to think up some semblance of a plot to throw his endless string of woeful shag gags into. Instead, we’re taken repeatedly from character to character, presented with yet another cringe-worthy predicament, and left to watch with gritted teeth as the next predictable punch line arrives (though use of the term “punch line” is perhaps a little generous, given that each situation basically resolves itself with yet another blast of tedious schoolboy humour).

How on earth Humphries managed to convince such an impressive cast to take part in his truly awful film should go down as one of the biggest mysteries in Brit flick history. The guy must have had one Helluva lot of favours to call in. Either that or a remarkable array of incriminating photographs.

It's Got: Strawberry jam and fish paste.

It Needs: For each and every member of the cast to hang their heads in shame.


Quite possibly the only thing even remotely funny about this film is the title. Save yourself a few quid by looking at the poster and moving swiftly on.