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A Man Apart (2003)

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 109 minutes

UK Certificate: 18

Sean Vetter, just like seemingly everyone these days, “grew up on the streets”. That's why, we're told, he's apparently so good at his job as an undercover DEA agent. The only thing is, not too far into A Man Apart you'll soon realise that he's not actually very good at his job at all. A potty-mouthed hot-head with all the stealth of a poorly-trained gorilla, Sherlock Holmes this guy ain't.

Still, Vin Diesel fits the part of Sean like a glove. All he's got to do is lumber around screen making witless remarks and occasionally beating the living snot out of some poor goon, and that's his job more or less done. But it hardly makes for the most riveting of cinema.

The film kicks-off with a notorious drug-trafficker being thrown behind bars and Sean celebrating the arrest he's spent the last seven years working towards. Our muscle-bound hero thinks that that's the issue over and done with, but it's not – otherwise the end credits would be rolling after just five minutes (and life just isn't that kind).

Before long, Sean's wife has been murdered and he's off in search of the man responsible, an infamous drug baron somewhat self-indulgently named “Diablo”. Despite clearly being far too emotionally attached to the situation, his boss allows him to drag his knuckles around town beating up and swearing at pretty much everyone in sight – and, by the time he's been warned off the case, he's already been responsible for the deaths of three of his workmates. Charming fellow.

And what's the point of all this? Beats me, but I'm hoping it's not to convince us all to take Diesel even remotely seriously. Still, at least in the final scenes he gets to wear an outfit that makes him look a bit like the man from Del Monte. So it can't be all bad then.

It's Got: Vin Diesel making Arnold Schwarzenegger look charismatic.

It Needs: For Sean’s buddy Hicks (Laurenz Tate) to stop using the word "dawg" at the end of EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. Sure, you "grew up in the streets" too – we get it, okay?!


Painfully bad showcase for Diesel’s distinctly limited talents.