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Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004)

Adventure is an attitude.

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 100 minutes

UK Certificate: PG

Barely a year after first underwhelming us in Agent Cody Banks, the lollipop-shaped Frankie Muniz returns for this embarrassingly-hurried quick-before-he-gets-facial-hair sequel. At this time last year I was criticising the original for its utter dearth of – well – originality. But if you thought that film was a pile of heaving guff, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Gone is Angie Harmon, gone are the semi-competent action sequences, and gone is the whole point of the first film’s premise (i.e. that Cody’s a kiddy-wink who’s got to juggle being a top CIA spy with keeping it a secret from his parents and getting his homework in on time). Even Hilary Duff is missed – and that can never be a good thing. Ever. This time, the sleep-inducing plotline drags young Agent Banks and his horrendously over-sized head across to London, where for some reason or other he’s to go undercover at a school for musical geniuses (well, I say “undercover”, but so lazy is the writing that he doesn’t even bother using a false name). Baddie Keith Allen runs around in the background exercising a God-awful half-Cockney half-American accent, Anthony Anderson does his requisite funny fat black guy bit as Cody’s handler, and Hannah “S Club” Spearritt does her best to little avail as a lukewarm love interest. In all honesty, all copies of this film should be thrown a-top a great big bonfire and burned beyond all possible usage. It offers nothing to cinema, nothing to popular culture, and nothing to its audience. Its sole purpose is to cash in on the middle-ranking success of an original venture that really wasn’t any good in the first place. It doesn’t entertain and, much worse, it doesn’t care – which is why, people, I implore you not to take even your worst enemy to see it over the school holidays, let alone your precious, precious children.

It's Got: No redeeming features.

It Needs: See “bonfire” comment, above.


Also known as ‘Big Steaming Pile of ****’.