Dr. Seuss The Cat in the Hat
Dont mess with the hat.
Running Time: 82 minutes
UK Certificate: PG
Country: United States, United States
The Cat in the Hat, great Dr Seuss book,
We should make it a film, we should give it a look!
Thats what they said up at ol Universal,
So they called up Mike Myers and went straight to rehearsal.
It worked with The Grinch, theyve done it before!
Only not with a cat, who walks in through the door.
Well make it real funny, well make it real bright,
But well cut out that bit where the Things fly the kite.
Well cast Alec Baldwin! Well cast Kelly Preston!
Well cast that kid Fanning, and cast Spencer Breslin.
Well cast Paris Hilton, shell give us a dance,
But does it all work? Oh no, not a chance.
You see, theres a problem – the books far too small!
So they make up their own bits, and thats where they fall.
They bend it and change it and wreck the whole story,
The result is as fun as a night with a Tory.
To make matters worse they dont give up there,
They take out the charm and they take out the care.
Myers tries to be zany, Myers tries to be clever,
But nobodys laughing, not now and not ever.
I know its light-hearted, I know hes just toying,
But that Cat in the Hat, he sure is annoying.
So I didnt like it, not one little bit,
Its mostly because its a big pile of rubbish.
It's Got: No point to it whatsoever.
It Needs: To have never been made.
Watch an all-time classic childrens book being destroyed before your very eyes. Awful. Just awful.