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Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

Austin Powers: Goldmember

A New Breed of Evil.

Rating: 5/10

Running Time: 94 minutes

UK Certificate: 15


You’ll have high hopes for ‘Goldmember’, the third (and surely final) instalment of the Austin Powers franchise, when you it’s hilarious cameo-packed opening sequence. Unfortunately, with the possible sole exception of the semi-villainous Dr Evil’s mid-movie outburst into prison-rules hip-hop, that’s about as good as it gets.

This time, the action takes us back in time to 1975, where dentist’s nightmare Powers (Mike Myers) has been sent on the trail of a strangely-flexible flaky-skinned Dutch supervillain by the name of Goldmember (Myers again). Goldmember’s devious scheme? Who cares? Much more important is that he enjoys roller-blading, has gold-plated privates (the result of an “unfortunate smelting accident) and, for any football fans out there, is the spitting image of Rangers manager Alex McLeish.

As usual, Myers keeps all the best parts for himself (in this one he plays FOUR characters – Powers, Dr Evil, Goldmember and blubbery Scotsman “Fat Bastard”), but to its credit there’s some inspired casting for the left-over roles. Michael Caine, always under-rated for his comic abilities, does a marvellous job as Austin’s long-lost dad, whilst booty-jiggling songstress Beyonce Knowles makes for a far better female lead than either Liz Hurley or Heather Graham before her.

But it’s difficult to get away from the feeling that this is a pretty pointless addition to the franchise. Even ‘The Spy Who Shagged Me’ smacked more than a little of desperation, and here we’ve got the same old jokes coming out yet again. Worse still is that, of what new jokes there are, few work as well as those used in the original. For every chortle-provoking scene like the opener or the flashback to a young Powers in his school days, there are at least a couple of attempts that are just plain unfunny (and someone REALLY should have sat Myers down before hand and explained to him that simply being from Holland isn’t as side-splittingly hilarious as he seems to think).

It's Got: Serious dermatological problems.

It Needs: Some moisturiser.

DVD Extras Audio commentary, a ‘World of Austin Powers’ featurette, character studies, opening stunts, ‘The Cars of Goldmember’, anatomy of three scenes (‘Dancing at the Gates’, ‘Roller Disco’ and ‘Sumo Battle’), visual fx segment, deleted/alternate scenes with optional commentary, a whole heap of music vids (Beyonce’s ‘Work It Out’, Britney’s ‘Boys’, Ming Tea’s ‘Daddy Wasn’t There’ and Dr Evil & Mini Me with the wonderful ‘Hard Knock Life’), theatrical trailers, and an incredible (but also slightly unnecessary) FIVE documentaries. DVD Extras Rating: 9/10


It ain’t solid gold – even if certain parts of it are.