Love always has the last word
Running Time: 87 minutes
UK Certificate: 12a
Country: United States
Peter Howitt, the Mancunian director behind Johnny English, gets another insipid comedy under his belt with this excruciatingly bland romantic vehicle for a non-Bond Pierce Brosnan and comically-challenged Julianne Moore. Its a match made in lukewarm dishwater if ever there was one.
The dreary pair play squabbling divorce lawyers who, having spent case after case pitting their limited wit against one another, do the predictable thing and fall in love. Of course, this being the rom-com by numbers it is, theres a set-back three-quarters of the way through, and one of them has to resolve this problem by running somewhere to reach the other one and make-up. You could literally sleep through the entire middle hour and still be able to guess exactly whats about to happen upon waking up.
Id probably say its the most shamelessly formulaic romantic comedy Ive ever seen, if it wasnt for the fact that it misses out one of the most crucial components of the genre comedy. The only time I laughed was when imagining in my own head that both stars were middle-ranking lower division footballers and could therefore pull off the nicknames Brozzers and Moorey. And, as youve all just realised, thats not even funny.
Quite simply, Laws of Attraction is stultifyingly dull. Moore, possibly the most over-rated actress of her generation, has not the slightest aptitude for comedy (yet for some reason the Oscars will scandalously continue to prefer her films to Bill Murrays), whilst Brosnans peculiar interpretation of the word charm involves half-closing one eye and undoing his top button.
Passing this sort of dross off as entertainment is frankly insulting – show exactly what you think of such unimaginative plopsy by making sure you dont pay to see it under any circumstances.
It's Got: Michael Sheen pretending to be Keith Richards but Johnny Depps already done that one.
It Needs: Not to be confused with The Rules of Attraction, that similarly woeful pile of pony from last year starring the shovel-faced lead from Dawsons Creek and that bird with the unpronounceable name from the Gap adverts.
Alternatives:Adam's Rib, Down With Love, Intolerable Cruelty, Intolerable Cruelty, Something's Gotta Give
The Belgium of comedies not so much dislikeable as just plain boring.