Its 2021, and old Mother Earth is having a right torrid time of it. Temperatures are plummeting, impromptu heart-attacks are causing random everyday-types to drop dead on the street, and most bizarrely of all a problem with the gravitational pull over Africa is causing hapless Ugandan villagers to float off into the ether. Yup, its fair to say weve made a proper pigs ear of looking after this planet of ours.
Its amid all of this hoo-ha that we meet John (Joaquin Phoenix). Hes trying to get his estranged Polish ice-skater missus Elena (Claire Danes) to sign their divorce papers. The trouble is, she keeps getting distracted by the gang of heavies who have been hired to kill her, and the four clones that have been created to take her place once shes six feet under. So, accompanied by Elenas mustard-suited simpleton of a brother (Douglas Henshall) and wearing their dodgy Eastern European accents like a particularly uncomfortable pair of shoes, John and Elena decide to go on the run.
Its written and helmed by Thomas Vinterberg, the Danish director best-known for co-founding the less-is-more doctrine Dogme 95 with countryman Lars von Trier. Ironically, though, this film plopsies square in the face of the Dogme 95 basics, choosing style over substance at practically every turn. The dialogue (with the exception of Sean Penns fleeting scenes as Johns brother) is weak and witless, the story slow and unengaging, and the characters cold and nigh-on impossible to relate to (despite the title, their seemingly all-important love for one another seldom rings true).
Sure, Its All About Love is great to look at. The contrast between the futuristic cityscapes and snow-covered countryside provides a sharp visual treat. Unfortunately, mere aesthetics can never make up for turgid storytelling, feeble acting and a wholly implausible plotline.