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The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

The Next Chapter Begins

Directed by:

Chris Weitz

Rating: 3/10

Running Time: 130 minutes

US Certificate: PG-13 UK Certificate: 12A

Oh, what has the vampire world come to? Just like when the first Twilight film came out, I still haven’t read the books that spawned this craze. So, once again, it’s all movie for movie’s sake, no prior knowledge bias. The first installment, though, was actually better than I had expected—sure, it was full of cheese and emo-driven kiddie passion, but it seemed the sort of thing that would satisfy its rabid fans, and it even entertained an uninitiated viewer like me. New Moon expands on the unrequited love, broadens the character base, and brings in wolves—but if this is what true fans were lining up for at midnight, I’m at a loss as to what they see in this mess.

When last we saw Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson), they had just escaped the clutches of some bad vamps and were heading towards an awkward, uneasy future. Well, now it seems one of the baddies is out for revenge over the death of her man, so the Cullens take off to keep Bella safe. She’s all despondent until she starts hanging with her newly hot old friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who, of course, ends up being a werewolf. But Edward’s not out of the picture for good, and after a trip to Italy and some red-eyed Dakota Fanning encounters, the two lovebirds (lovebats?) decide to take their relationship to a new level.

Now, where Twilight was goofy yet somehow likeable and surprisingly coherent, this New Moon thing is so burdened with its flat acting and cornball dialogue that it’s hard for someone who’s not already a Twilight fan to take it seriously. On the good side, the actors who aren’t in lead roles are really good, and if there could be more of a development of characters like Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Aro, or Jane, things might seem a bit more balanced. As it is, Stewart and Pattinson seem sullen and grouchy, and both are so wooden and bland that it’s hard to figure out where this supposed undying passion comes from, other than the fact that they keep spouting off about it every time they’re within two feet of each other. Lautner’s a little better, and though still lacking, at least we see some glimpse of depth. Stewart doesn’t really ever even move her face enough to seem like she’s having an emotion, and Bella—well, I’d love to hear from fans of the book, but is she a character you actually LIKE? Because here, she simply comes off as a self-centered, love struck teenager with a penchant for drama and no thought of anything but that pasty, mumbling, sparkly vampire. Why there are boys clamoring after her is a puzzler, since she barely seems able to function. It’s sad, really, what the world of the bloodsucker has become, but with drivel like this making bajillions, there’s no end in sight.

It's Got: Red-eyed mean Dakota Fanning, Cool werewolf CGI, Horrific dialogue

It Needs: More of the peripheral cast, Acting lessons for its leads, Better dialogue


Adventureland, Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1, Twilight


Twilighters, or whatever they call themselves, would see this even if it was nothing but words on a screen, which in reality, would probably pack more of an emotional punch than this passionless, flat, second installment to the Twilight Saga.

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