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The Love Guru (2008)

His Karma is Huge

Directed by:

Marco Schnabel

Rating: 2/10

Running Time: 87 minutes

US Certificate: PG-13 UK Certificate: 12A

On DVD

Country: United States, Germany, United Kingdom

So many people should’ve known better: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Deepak Chopra—Ben Kingsley. What was the collective behind The Love Guru thinking? Honestly, Myers is so much better than this, and this is a film that makes me angry knowing that there are so many movies out in the world, just waiting to be made, that would chew off their own celluloid to get a chance at just a quarter of the budget this one must have had. I’m all for crude and stupid humor—Knocked Up was unbelievably crude, but still hilarious, and Talladega Nights was stupid and sporty, but still funny. This atrocity has no heart, no soul, and much poop. Literally.
Our tale begins with young Maurice Pitka (Myers) growing up at an ashram in India under the tutelage of Guru Tugginmypudha (Kingsley). The Guru sends Maurice out into the world, warning him that before he can love others, he must love himself—and he slaps a chastity belt on him. Well, Maurice grows up to be a big deal, but not big enough to achieve his dream of schmoozing with Oprah, so he tries to move his spot up on the cool scale by counseling a sad Toronto Maple Leafs player who’s having marital troubles. Work in that somehow Alba works for the Leafs … or something … and has a crush on Pitka, suspend disbelief, and prepare for badness.

Like I said, when handled with care and half a brain, crude and stupid can be great. The Love Guru, though, has neither. What it does have is many unfunny penis jokes, many unfunny crap jokes, and no characters that are even worth investing any time in. it’s an insulting film—not to any one group or person, but to an audience of paying customers looking to laugh. There are a few funny moments here, but they are quickly bogged down in the muck that surrounds them. Stephen Colbert and Justin Timberlake are the movie’s only two saving graces as, respectively, a drugged up sports announcer and an over-endowed hockey player—but it’s so not enough (I gave the film 2 stars just for them). It’s over-indulgent, and Myers has abandoned any responsibility he may have had to actually create comedy to, instead, muddle together a series of nothing “jokes” that I’m pretty sure wouldn’t be enjoyed by even the drunkest frat boy. There are so many films out there that do what this one tried and failed, so please rent them instead.

It's Got: Colbert and Timberlake being funny

It Needs: Humor, characters to give a damn about, something redeemable

DVD Extras Three featurettes: “Mike Myers and the Love Guru,” “One Helluva Elephant,” “Hockey Training for the Actors.” Deleted scenes, bloopers, outtakes, and the theatrical trailer DVD Extras Rating: 5/10

Alternatives:

Austin Powers (any of them), Blades of Glory, Zoolander

Summary

I don’t know what Mike Myers has on Ben Kingsley to get him to even watch this movie, let alone be in it, but no amount of blackmail can be worth this disaster. Run away. Just … run away.

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