Rating: 5/10
US Certificate: PG UK Certificate: PG
For some reason, every action guy usually decides at some point to make a movie for the kids in his fan basemaybe we should blame Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is almost always a bit of disaster, with said tough dude looking like he might just accidentally drop a hand grenade to close to little Tommy. Jackie Chan, in his role as Bob Ho, Super Spy Guyactually does seem like a guy who could pull off the cover of dorky pen salesman who would be living in suburbia with some kidsmaybe its because hes always kind of a funny guy anyway, but he does avoid the cliché of tough guy trying to deal with precocious brats thats a common denominator of most films of this ilk. Sure, there are still all those other problemsbad acting, predictably silly story, kids you want to ship off to boarding school, stereotypical Russian accentsbut Jackie Chan being a believable normal guy is not one of them.
Bob Ho (Chan) has long been a spy on loan from China, working for our CIA with unlikely spy types such as his director (George Lopez) and his partner (Billy Ray Cyrus) to take down some very thick-accented Russians who have a very evil formula theyre trying to use to suck up the worlds oil supply. Now, Bobs fallen for the woman next doorGillian (Amber Valletta), a single mom whose three children think hes quite possibly the nerdiest, most boring loser around, and who are dead set on his budding relationship with their mother. Bob quits his spying career for love to become a stable husband for Gillian, but first he has to win over those horrible kids, a task severely compromised when hes dragged back in to a deadly international operation with those kooky Russians.
Its hard to get past those kids. Of course theyre supposed to be annoying and rude, so that when they finally come around to liking Bob theres some sort of warming of the heart realization scenebut did they have to be SO unlikeable? The same can be said of Gillianwho the heck knows why shes the prize here. And no, its not like anyones expecting greatness from any part of this, but the editing is strange, Billy Ray Cyrus is somehow a CIA operative, and life lessons and sappy moments are interspersed with spy shenanigans. Chans action sequences, especially those in the house when he has to improvise his weaponry, and the fight in the restaurant, are fun to watch and inventive in parts, and again, Chan adds a likeability factor that saves the whole thing from drowning completely. Not something Id recommend seeing in a theater, but for a rental, especially with a younger audience, its harmless.
Its those obnoxious kids that are at the crux of this silly tale. See, our man Bob Ho (Chan) has been a spy on loan from China, working for out CIA with folks like his director (George Lopez) and his partner (Billy Ray Cyrus) to bring down some very thick-accented Russians. Now, though, hes fallen in love with the girl next doorliterally, she lives next doorGillian (Amber Valletta), a single mom whose three children hate him. Bob quits his spying career in order to become a stable husband for Gillian, but first he has to win over those bratty kids, a task severely compromised when hes dragged back in to a deadly international operation with those kooky Russians.
Its hard to get past those kids. Of course theyre supposed to be annoying and rude, so that when they finally come around to liking Bob theres some sort of warming of the heart realization scenebut did they have to be SO unlikeable? The same can be said of Gillianwho the heck knows why shes the prize here. And no, its not like anyones expecting greatness from any part of this, but the editing is strange, Billy Ray Cyrus is somehow a CIA operative, and life lessons and sappy moments are interspersed with spy shenanigans. Chans action sequences, especially those in the house when he has to improvise his weaponry, and the fight in the restaurant, are fun to watch and inventive in parts, and again, Chan adds a likeability factor that saves the whole thing from drowning completely. Not something Id recommend seeing a theater, but for a rental, especially with a younger audience, its harmless.
It's Got: Some nifty gadgets, A few good fight scenes, Nice Bowie/Iggy Pop references
It Needs: Better acting, Less cringe-worthy kids, Better female character for Bob to love
DVD Extras "Jackie Chan: Stunt Master and Mentor"; Adventures in Acting with the Kids from The Spy Next Door"; blooper reel DVD Extras Rating: 4/10
Summary
Sure, it’s bad, overacted, strangely edited, and totally ridiculous, but it could’ve been worse, and at least Chan seems like a good guy.